Friday, 30 October 2015

Battle of the Brax Valley 320BC.

Before the blog,a history lesson-the Suebii were a ferocious,fearless,barbarian tribe from the depths of Germany;everyone feared them,they scorned death,and the only thing that worried them" was if the sky were to fall on their heads".Well,that was before the Dreaded Brian the Terrible took command of them!!-read on.........................................

The scenario,and map-Brian(the Terrible!) was in command of the Germans(proud and fearless warriors) I commanded the Northern Tribes(Dacians) and Paul was the split personalities of Antipater and Lysimachus!!!!

The table before any movement-it looked spectacular,although the first barrier(note the word,FIRST!) to the Germans seems to be an enormous clipboard!

The Germans(commanded by Brian the Terrible) start to cross the stream on their out-flanking mission-Brian's orders/objective were to cross the stream and out-flank the Successors-a simple enough task for a fearless,Barbarian horde,surely(?)

In the face of light opposition,the brave and fearless German warriors stopped at the water's edge,and I could swear I heard one of them screech in alarm,in a "girly" voice "ooh,I'm not crossing that stream it's got nasty tadpoles swimming in it!!"-SECOND barrier!!!!

Meanwhile,on my left flank,my cavalry and Paul's clash into one another-this swung back and forth for most of the battle,with units of infantry being fed in to bolster when necessary!

Paul was feeling "Gung Ho"(a gorgeous little Chinese lady of easy virtue!!) and decided that he would abandon his ridge and cross the valley to attack my Tribesmen-he would be at a great advantage in the first round of melee with his Pike-armed Phalanx!!
My right flank was waiting for the Germans(fearlessly led by Brian the Terrible) to attack across the stream before they advanced-they were in for a long wait!!

The German warbands are queuing up to cross the stream in this shot,but a "girly" screech went up saying "ooh look a nasty frog!! we can't possibly cross the stream until goes away!!" and so the warbands looked on as I took on the whole of the known world!!!-THIRD barrier.

In the centre I am fighting for my life,as Paul's Phalanx is "chewing" me up,but on the far left I am making headway,and it looks like I could out-flank Paul,and win the game-if only he doesn't reinforce that flank(!!!!)

What's this? a German warband is across the stream!!(apparently they were chasing a Kingfisher bird to get its feathers for decorating their hair!!) However they have hit the FORTH barrier in the way of an Elephant!!-no need to worry though,after two rounds of melee,the Elephant went on a rampage,unfortunately,towards my lines-bloody hell!!!!-surely Brian the Terrible will reinforce the winning warband and start to amass his Germans on the Successor side of the stream and win the game(!?)

Oh hell,three tons of uncontrollable flesh coming at me at a rate of knots(sounds like my wedding night!!)-this of course upset my cavalry who had to flee out of the way,opening up my right flank-woe is me!

Paul's phalanx is pushing my tribesmen back into the woods,and all is lost in the centre!On the left Paul has reinforced the cavalry melee and is also driving me back-all depends on the ferocious and fearless Germans led by Brian the Terrible,no more barriers please!!

FIFTH barrier-sticklebacks!!!

SIXTH barrier-slimy mud!!
All is lost,time to change sides! Brian had the audacity to ask for a draw-I offered him "water wings" to get his troops across the stream!!
This was by any standards a great game,full of laughs,hard fighting and it looked good,apart from a win,what more could you want from a wargame?
Roll on Sunday,don't know what type of game yet.


  1. Oh dear I seem to be the Scrapegoat in all this.I think some people forget its not the Winning its the taking part!!

    1. Taking part,would have been good-you "Scrapegoat"(this is a club "in" joke from Brian's army days.)

  2. Brian should have whistled for his fairy (no jokes please) godmother....."Learn to swim young man..learn to swim!"

    1. a ploatin ! a good old fashioned ploatin !

      poor john left all alone and there's "missing" fighting to the last of his figures

      ha h a, still a great night and loads of laughs

      john didn't even mention "four .... aaah say four two's rolled in a row!

  3. Another very entertaining post, keep them coming!.

    1. Hi Paul,thanks for comment-I'm thinking of a way to "set up" Brian for his "inactivity" on Thursday-I'll get him!!!!
      We are putting on a game at Battleground on 28th November,will we see you there?

  4. That will be something new me being set up!!!

  5. Sounded like a right laugh of a game, enjoyed the read :)

    1. Hi Neil,good to hear from you again-yes a good laugh,but he'll be sorry!!
      We'd love to get you lads up here for a game some night.